Roadblocks to Interpersonal Effectiveness

This week wraps up talking about interpersonal effectiveness skills, including DEARMAN, FAST, and GIVE. In a perfect world, we can use these tools in all situations to better communicate with those around us. What can get in our way and what can we do to fix this?

  • PRACTICE! You might not feel comfortable using the skills at first, but if you don’t know what to say or how to act in a situation, practice, practice, practice, the skills.
  • UNHELPFUL THOUGHTS. Old thinking patterns (like “what if they don’t like me if I advocate for myself?” or “I don’t deserve to get what I want”) can get in the way and stop you from changing how you communicate.
  • It’s helpful to be mindful (try using Wise Mind!) when communicating. Strong emotions such as anger, sadness, fear, or guilt, can get in the way of asking for what you want or sticking to your values.
  • KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. If you can’t decide what you really want when communicating, then your indecision may get in the way of your desired outcome.
  • Your environment or situation may get in the way. This can happen in situations where the other person has more power or authority, or if someone is acting in a threatening manner.

Sometimes even if we have all the rights skills, they’re not enough, or the situation feels too difficult or complicated. That’s ok. Being kind to yourself and to others in the moment can be more important than immediately remedying the situation!

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