While using the DEARMAN skill from last week can help you get what you want, it’s also important to maintain your values and prioritize your self-respect. The FAST skill does exactly this, however, it’s important to know what you value going in to using the FAST skill. Check in with yourself to make sure you know your values and what will foster your self-respect!
F – Be fair to yourself and others when you’re trying to solve a problem or situation. Check to see if you feel taken advantage of or if you’re taking advantage of someone else.
A – No apologies. Apologize when necessary but don’t apologize for sharing your opinion, asking for what you need, or disagreeing.
S – Stick to your values. Don’t give up what you value or what you think is right in the moment to conform or make someone like you.
T – Be truthful. Don’t lie, act helpless, make excuses, or exaggerate what you feel or what is happening. Stick to the facts.
The FAST skill can be hard to use because you’re advocating for yourself. This can be uncomfortable when you may be used to pleasing others instead of making yourself a priority. But when we stick to our values and prioritize our own self-respect, we often feel better about how we communicated and the final outcome of the situation.