HOW Skills: Non-Judgmentally & Effectively

Last week we talked about how to practice one-mindfully, one of the HOW skills of mindfulness. The last two HOW skills, non-judgmentally and effectively, in combination with one-mindfully and the WHAT skills, give us the tools we need to be mindful and present in the moment.

The non-judgmentally skill is about the facts. This skill emphasizes seeing but not evaluating. You want to take a non-judgmental stance towards yourself and what is going on around you.

  • Focus on the “what”, not the “good” or “bad” or the “should”.
  • Accept each moment for what it is.
  • Acknowledge what is helpful or harmful but don’t judge it.
  • When you find yourself making judgments, don’t judge your judging. Notice you’re judging and go back to a non-judgmental stance.

The last HOW skill, effectively, is about focusing on what works.

  • Do what needs to be to be done in each situation in order to meet your larger goals.
  • Play by the rules! Use your skills and knowledge to meet the needs of the situation you are in and not the situation you wish you were in.
  • Let go of emotions that will not work in the situation, like vengeance or anger.

The WHAT and HOW skills of mindfulness gives us the chance to observe, describe, and participate one-mindfully, non-judgmentally, and effectively. It can be overwhelming to incorporate all of the skills at once, but give it a try and see how mindfulness can improve your day-to-day!

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